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20 November, 2008

I feel that this blog is becoming more personal, especially with all new stuff that are going on around me as well as inside my head. I think I might be growing, but there is still a long way to go for me to become a truly mature person, as I realized just today. The big problem is, I think, the fact, that I still haven't completely decided what kind of life I want for myself in the future. There are ideas, but I will have to pick one, because if I don't, my life will ramble without a definitive route, and I might not like where it leads me. It is kind of similar to my two sub-personalities, which are this fierce & all fabulous diva, and a hopeless hippie just wanted to be loved and to have a roof above his head. When I think about the future of my life I can see me as a geeky, fit urbanism student, a hard working music producer, maybe a website developer with my own projects, or a ferosh drag queen. The cool thing is that all that is possible, but there isn't really room for more than one life. So what is going to happen? I think I'll stay on the safe side, on a career wagon if you'd like, simply because I'm too spoiled to ever give up my gadgets, and ... well I don't really have anything else of value. But when I think about my youth, and how quickly will go away, I get scared the same way I did when I decided to move to London. It's this not-living-my-life-at-the-fullest-extent fear, which forces me not only to change my living environment, but also my attitudes toward "weird", free thinking, open minded people. I have to constantly remind myself, that life can be WHATEVER I want it to be. Besides, I still have this weird obsession with celebrity, for which one shouldn't be ordinary. So do I dare to explode my weirdness all around, and just don't care, or am I stuck in the system of "climbing the latter"? It's not that I'm missing courage, it's just that I don't know which way to take, and when I walk on one possible route, I'm going further away from all others. Splitting point is coming soon!

Waterworld
OR
Waterworld
OR
Waterworld
???

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice english but still not English enough for me.. L. x

uros said...

oh tok te te razumem:)

uros